What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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