I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
