doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
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They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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