boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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