there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I need moral support for this bender
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
