Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Yo dont text me then not text me
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
