put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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