Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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