Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
why is half of my head shaved?
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