Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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