Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize