I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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