the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
