my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
