I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
this will be a night to untag.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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