Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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