they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
