there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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