Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
