she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
