Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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