You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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