I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
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It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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