So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The power of my boobs compel you
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
