home. puking in laundry basket.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
