stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
