JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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