I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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