hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
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you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
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Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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