Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
