I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
