I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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