someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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