Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
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Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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