I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
This house was built for laser tag.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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