During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Success! We fucked roommates!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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