i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
