i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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