I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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