i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
