They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
