Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
