i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
