32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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