he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i drank out of a bidet.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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