She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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