all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
