Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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