I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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