I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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