You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
