VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
