New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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