Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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