So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
