Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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