I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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