last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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