Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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