I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
