I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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