My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
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planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
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you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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