New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I need a beard to bite.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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