Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I accidentally had phone sex last night
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm always down for nudity.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
